For many, the holidays are a time of joyful reunions, parties, and great celebration. The decorated tree, with its tinsel and lights, signals the reminder that “Tis the season to be jolly.” Santa with his voluminous “Ho-Ho- Ho’s” echoing in our ears tells us that the holiday season is a time of “Joy to the World.” Indeed, for many it the most wonderful and exciting season of the year. It is something that is looked forward to, and planned for, all year long.
There is another side to the holiday season that is not so pleasant. It is the awareness that many people suffer some of their most depressing and distressing days during this otherwise festive occasion. For them, the reds and greens of the trees, the lights, the ribbons, the stockings, and the wrappings have merged and created a sense of “the blues.” We know that the color blue is created by the conjoining of green and red, but this is another type of the blues I am referring to here. This is the blues of Depression.
While many are excited and elated, others are battling loneliness, despair, a sense of loss, grief, and hopelessness. The depth of their depression is magnified by the contrasting joy that others are experiencing. With all the emphasis on the joy of Christmas, these unfortunate souls struggle to survive the tentacles of depression that have ensnared them. For them, the holidays and the blues can become a recipe for real tragedy.
If you feel that you are beginning to sink into the murky waters of depression, please let someone know. You are not alone in your struggle against the blues. Most of us have had to deal with losses and grief so we can help. Please do not allow yourself to become victimized by this insidious disease.
During the more than 29 years of my professional counseling practice, I have seen many people suffer what seemed to be inexorable, emotional pain during this time of year. The loss of loved ones is especially difficult on us mentally and spiritually. There is no good time to experience loss, but grief certainly is magnified when the societal atmosphere is pervaded with celebration.
The keys to avoiding the depths of despair that the blues can create are to (1) acknowledge your deep sense of loss, (2) take time to adequately grieve without guilt, (3) establish a realistic date on your calendar for when you PLAN to set the blues aside and return to your normal emotional and spiritual state, (4) find someone you can talk honestly and openly with about your struggles without the feelings of shame, and (5) accept that some personal losses are devastating, and you must accept their finality and move on with your life.
In Genesis 23, Abraham faces the single, greatest tragedy of his life. His darling wife, Sarah, has died and now he must face life without his precious companion. After mourning her death he realizes, as we all must, that her life is over, but his life will continue. Abraham’s emotional healing began when he accepted that fact, and began the process of burial. Notice how he handled his loss as stated in verse four, “I am a stranger and a sojourner with you: give me a possession of a burying place with you, THAT I MAY BURY MY DEAD OUT OF MY SIGHT.”
Your ultimate recovery will begin when you can give an adequate, respectful, and loving burial to your blues and focus, once again, on the reds and greens of joy. I hope these five steps will help you successfully navigate through the normal stages of the grief reaction and rediscover the joy of living that God wants for you.
If you need someone to talk with, I am here for you. Let’s talk!
****A Personal Word to Our Readers from Dr. Frazier****
I would like to encourage you to tune into http://www.thegospelword.com for our radio program, “Adventures in Faith.” It is available On Demand 24/7 through their website.
Please feel free to share your questions, observations, or insights with our readers and me. Website: http://www.donfrazier.com
Author: Donald Frazier
| Author's Website: http://donfrazier.com
Written: 01/06/2010
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Category: Golden Nuggets
Comments: 1
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You are right: this is an insidious disease. The steps you have mentioned are excellent, and so many aren't aware of them. A doctor once told me that men are often the hardest to get to ask for help. It is no disgrace to suffer from depression. Elijah lets us know that God is willing to help us when we are at our lowest point. Excellent article!
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