Janice Crow

Reflections - Choices, Butter or Better?

I thought nothing much surprised me anymore; but I’ll have to admit I was taken aback when a friend blurted out over lunch one day that she got married mostly because she hated making decisions. Hello? Well, I guess that’s okay if you want your life to be one long “whatever you want honey”.

What on earth made her believe she could avoid decision making? If you think about it, every day is made up of hundreds of choices and it begins when the alarm clock goes off at 6:00 a.m. Shall I spring out of bed ready to meet the day or roll over and smack the snooze? Whatever I do, conscious or not, I’ve just made the day’s first decision. When I do finally roll out of bed, then what? Will I first stumble into the kitchen to make coffee or make a stop at the bathroom? Walk down the hall bare-footed or groggily poke around for my slippers? What’s for breakfast? Eggs or cereal? Wait…should I even eat breakfast? Sugar or sweetener? Minty toothpaste or fire-engine red gel? I’ve just been faced with a multitude of decisions and I’m not out of my bathrobe yet.

When you think about it, it’s exhausting, the number of choices we encounter everyday, and it’s hard to deny that we are the sum total of the decisions we have made thus far in our lives.

Why didn’t I pursue a music career right out of high school? Because I listened to the nay-sayers. Why don’t I have a college degree? Because I got tired one semester short of the goal.

I’d love to manage time better. So who keeps twisting my arm to stroll through the antique mall? That $1.42 change left in my pocket everyday would add up if I could pass the Hit ‘N’ Run without pulling in for a curbside cherry Coke (and my kidneys would thank me). I ask myself, “Why can’t I lose weight?” But who is it that stands in the aisle at Walgreens and thumbs through “Shape Up” , only to walk away with “Cooking with Paula Deen”. I have just chosen “butter” over “better”…again.

I make the decision everyday whether to go into the studio and write music or to get hopelessly tangled in the internet search for my great, great grandfather, a blacksmith somewhere in 1850 Hancock County, Kentucky. (Yeah, like he would care --- probably only if I had a horse that needed shoeing.)

My point is, I can blame no one for my shortcomings but me. I am faced with choices everyday, and my priorities and my discipline, or lack thereof, will determine how successful I am, not just in the music world, but my life in general.

Apparently I’m not alone. Even Paul had a problem in this area, for in Romans he said,… “for to will is present with me, but how to perform that which is good, I find not. For the good that I would, I do not; but the evil which I would not, that I do.

I am determined to make better choices; but in the meantime, it’s nice to know that I’m in such good company. Paul seemed to get it together at some point. Maybe I can figure this thing out yet.

Still learning.

Janice