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Observations by Bradley

Observations by Bradley - Sep 04

Please allow me to apologize for the delay in the posting of this article. I had a major turn of events in my life on September 1, well, September 2, and it postponed my writing this month's edition for a few days. You see, my wife, Robin, gave birth to our first child, a daughter, Julianne Leigh Littlejohn, at 2:13 a.m. on Thursday, September 2. But she started on September 1. We have finally made it home, squeezed in a couple of hours of sleep and I'm afraid my mind is as sharp as it ever will be again. (By the way, if you would like to view a picture of our little angel, just go to http://www.paidinfull.net and you can see her there or check out the news item here)

Here's a little blurb I saw in the news recently:

Using a new, precise measurement of the force of gravity, physicists have recalculated the mass of the Earth and determined the planet is a bit lighter than previously thought. The new estimate is that the third rock from the sun has a mass of 5.972 sextillion metric tons, or 5,972 followed by 18 zeros. Textbooks currently list the mass at 5.978 sextillion metric tons.

Now, here are my best six guesses (I couldn't think of 10) as to why the planet has had such a dramatic weight loss:

6. A large amount of raw materials has been turned into satellites and shipped into space;
5. The aliens responsible for crop circles carted off the excess weight during design;
4. The ozone layer has thinned and bloating has been minimized;
3. Santa having all those presents in the air one night a year causes error in the scientists' calculations;
2. The Atkins' diet; and/or
1. A combination of any of the above.

Feel free to "weigh in" with any of your ideas on how this weight was lost.

Join me next time for "Have you ever seen a really happy church pianist?"

Official disclaimer: This column expresses the views owned solely by me, Bradley Littlejohn, not Paid In Full or Sogospelnews.com. So if you've got a beef, e-mail me. But don't think for a minute that you can discourage me by punching holes in my arguments. And one other thing, I offer only observations. No real solutions. I don't think that far in advance.