I have found myself less patient with back bitters and two faced people. I know as a Christian we need to embrace others, no matter their downfalls or shortcomings. But, all my life I have found myself raised around two faced people. In my family, there were always two stories mine and theirs. I never remember a time someone just told the truth. So, I became frustrated and couldn't trust many people. In the music world, I became accustomed to this again. Years ago I handled management duties for a fairly successful artist. I began to see my family in the promoters, venues, agents and magazine editors. NO integrity, no backbones and no truth. EVER! People would just tell you what you wanted to hear. To your face, they love you. And behind your back you are anything but a human.
During the last 5 years God has seen fit to bless me and Rick Hendrix Company. More than I could have ever dreamed. He has walked me through doors I thought as a little boy would always be in pictures of a magazine. But, as the success grows, other things become a part of you and your life. Bigger means bigger egos, bigger lawyers, bigger gigs, bigger flats and bigger faces. Actually TWO faces. I have run into the most ridiculous managers, agents, and producers in the past few years. I could have found this bunch at a zoo. But, when I leave the office or go to sleep in yet another airport or hotel room, I find pieces of me scattered all across the world. I somedays feel like I am trying to live 5 lives. Many of you know what I mean. I am one thing for my son, one thing for my ex-wife, one thing for my daughter, one thing for this friend and another for this one. When In actuality when I lay down at night or say my prayers the real me doesn't get to breathe. The one I am sometimes gets lost into the one everyone expects me to be for them.
A close family member recently hurt my feelings really bad. I think I always knew they talked bad about me. I just chose to believe I was still superman to them. But, after years of backbiting me and saying horrible things about me to friends and family it sank in one night while I was sitting at a friend's funeral. It is true. All of the horrible things I have heard this person said about me, "They really did." The things that put me in a corner crying my eyes out, the things that made me not even like myself sometimes, the things that took me away from my life, the things that placed me in the hospital with high blood pressure and heart troubles were all true. Everything I tried to ignore from them, was all true. I left my friend's funeral and began the long drive home by myself. And anyone that knows me, understands, I love to be alone. I love to take a deep breath and feel it go all the way down. I love to sit by myself at the pool at 4 in the morning and look at the sky and reconnect with God.
I couldn't understand this night. I needed a friend so bad. I looked at my phone and it had thousands of contacts. I could reach someone that knew me and cared. I just couldn't seem to dial a single person. I kept looking at this family member's number and name. I wanted to call and say, 'Why dont you stop playing games, and be real to me? Why dont you just tell me to my face all of the things you say behind my back? Why dont you apologize for the things you have said and done that have hurt me greatly?"
I began to think of something I heard recently, "Its not what people say about you, its how you answer them back." It's not our place to worry and stress over someone else's expectations of us. I always run my business soundly and efficiently. I never let anyone run over me or my artists. So, why couldn't I do the same within my family? Sometimes it's hard to break the chains. People can get us exactly where they need us to be, and it's really hard to turn from habit. I decided to break the chains. No matter how or what this person said about me, no matter how much guilt they tried to lay in my lap, no matter how much they played me, I was going to approach them. Both of them. Both faces. I was no longer going to be a part of their game. I wasn't in a competition to be loved or accepted by someone. I found it hard to ignore some of the things I heard was still being said about me. But, I realized, you cant change people. You have to change how you react to them. You must except them for what they are, not what you wish they could be. And no matter how bad family hurts you, they will forever be your family. History and God will always mark them as your bloodline.
So, if you have those two faced people in your life. Turn around look yourself in the mirror and say- "I am better than this! I deserve to associate with honest people! I deserve to be respected! I will not let myself be drawn into their games! I will no longer be hurt by those that I love." Continue loving them and praying for them. But, remove yourself from their attacks. No matter what they say, you choose your emotions and reactions. Every bad feeling, comes from a bad thought. Remind yourself to stop bad thoughts. When you hear something bad about you, immediately reinforce your mind with a good thing about yourself. Stop the cycle. Bad thoughts, make bad feelings and bad feelings make sick bodies and minds. Even the strongest of us, can fail and find ourselves vulnerable to those we love.
Rick Hendrix
http://www.rickhendrix.com
Author: RickBHendrix
| Author's Website: http://www.rickhendrix.com
Written: 08/01/2007
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Category: Leave No Stone Unturned
Comments: 66
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Amen...I often tell my children that they are only responsible for themselves. We cannot control the actions of others and some will be bitter and hateful if we were to give them a million dollars.
If Christ could take what He did, He will give us the grace to endure what we have to.Live as much by His example as humanly possible and leave the rest in His hands.
Becky
Psalm 136:26
Oh, give thanks to the God of heaven!
For His mercy endures forever.
Rick said, "I began to think of something I heard recently, 'Its not what people say about you, its how you answer them back.' It's not our place to worry and stress over someone else's expectations of us."
Wow, great words of wisdom Rick. Fantastic article as always.
Very timely indeed! I'm committing that quote to memory! Thanks for sharing your heart!!
What a powerful testimony. This is one that deserves a second reading. GOD bless you, Rick...
GREAT article!!!! I needed this.
Wow........words of wisdom indeed. I think everyone can take that to heart! A true friend is always there...no matter what. I know I don't know you THAT well Rick....but you always have my email if you need to let things go. My inbox is always open
hehe ok...I thought it was funny but I'm weird 
But I mean it! God bless my friend!
This was an amazing testimony to read! Thank you for sharing this with us! You are a wonderful person and I wish you the very best in life!
WOW! I am always your friend. I recently lost a good friend. He treated me the same way. Way to go! I am glad you shared this with me.
I can relate to this ...about family and some friends!! I use to be bitter about all the things I could not control!! When I gave my heart to the Lord..He took it ALL away!! I have an amazing friend that tells me I am better than that when those same people tell me I am not! God Bless you Rick!! Wonderful story!!
precious story it teaches forgiveness without mutilation
Hey Rick,
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One does always got to remember that they are a christian and they do want to love their family and their neighbors for it is the christian way, however sometimes a stranger can feel more like family or a friend than ones own family. God bless you.
Well, I can certainly feel the emotions you're feeling as you wrote this. People come in every manner possible, but the best way we can handle them is to be better than them. Not a "high & mighty" attitude, but an attitude where we won't stoop to their level. You did what was right by making up your mind to not be as they are. I have a saying can apply to anything, as follows:
i think a lot of people went through these, because the world is not fair sometimes. i also could not believe it happened to me. i had a hard time and i couldn't make myself believe in people again. but i passed it by because in this world u can meet not only bad people who doesn't cost a panny with their metal hearts, but also there is wonderful, full of positive energy people who likes to share what they have and what they feel. i think u are one of them and i'm glad i know u! thanks for everything and for warm article giving us power.
That's a great testimony!!! And its true one shouldn't be overwelmend by what others think of you or do behind your back. What counts is that your relationship with God is maintained in a good shape. I'm glad that you realized that not all the people that say they're your friends are. Always remember the only one that has a right to judge others is God, no matter what other think about you!!
Great article! I could not agree more. You are so right, we do have the choice in how we react to those around us and with God's help we can and will react in a christianly manner.
im facing the samething at work the guys talk abot me at work put me down i try to forgive but they keep on and it eats me up inside i feel like no one cares i feel defeated as a christian i would like to over come it and not let it bother me i worry to much of what people think
Hey Rick it is me, Brittany! i love this column! it says so much about the people you trust but know that you can't trust! i have a lot of two-faced friends, but not a lot of family like that. i now know that if i hear a rumor about me and if i know who started it then i don't need to go and start a rumor about them. i have done that in the past cause i was angry and now i know that i need to forgive them for what they did, not turn around and stab them in the back like they did to me. if i did that i would be no better than them in fact i would be just like that! well i hope to hear from you soon!
Wow Rick, this is a very well written article... I've got a family member who's become as 2 faced as they come... it's funny, we are not only cousins, but have been best friends for 23 years... and now it's all changed... great article!
Wow... Something i really needed to hear! Thanks
Awesome article. We can all use a lesson in forgiveness. God bless!
Great story! I can totally relate.
This was a awesome article!!!!!! Thank you for sharing your heart with us!!
Very well said. I've been struggling with some issues with family and I really needed this. Thanks Rick!
We really must remember that our warfare here is with pricipatlities, powers, and every thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God. Backstabbing by family members is perhaps the worst. Anyone who doesn't experience this is truly blessed, because it can be very painful. But He gives us grace and strength to triumph in Christ Jesus. Praise God!
Great artical, i can relate to some of that. God Bless!!!
Thankyou for the wondeful testimony.Wow !! i had my share of family problems back in 04 to 05 and it was tough but I prayed thru them. What brought us all back together was our Brother was killed in a horrific 18 wheeler crash that he was driving and was killed on impact.He was so badly burned that we had 2 have a closed casket,Then in 2005 I was very ill & near death,The doctors said there was no hope for me. The doctors didn't know that my hope was Jesus the one who saved me and gave me new life.I didn't cheat death as some would say.It is that God allowed me more time here on this earth for a reason. My family and I are all together now.It has made us all closer to each other than ever before. I would like to say that I am saved and that when God calls me home I will be with him in Heaven. Thankyou for the article.I can realte to it. God bless you and Thanks for being my friend.
He that loveth not, knoweth not God. Those are strong words from John, but true. If we were never given the opportunity to love the unlovable, how would we ever know our weakness in that area. The opinion someone has about another is simply their opinion, unless opinion is a statement of truth. God gives us those that irratate us, to literally irratate "hell" out of us. It's easier to retaliat and save face, but harder to stay on your cross and simply say, "father forgive them, they have no clue.." If you can find it in your heart to really love someone that hates everything about you, then you know what it's like to love.
Great article!
God bless!!!
Your Family can hurt you worse than anyone, seem's you think they would be the last one's, but you have this big target on your back. I have a family member that goes out of her way to talk about you behind your back, in fact the family calles her judge Barbara.I told her one day instead of talking about me to please spend that time praying for me.She smiled and walked away.I havent heard and bad things since... great article, thank's
Preach it Bro. Rick. I'm a preacher myself and that sounds like a good sermon to me. God bless you as you strive to do what YOU know is right. The people who have hurt you are responsible for themselves. God bless you.
Great article Rick! I SO agree with you. As a wife of a minister, I understand fully the whole what people expect me to be mentality. I am not a people pleaser...although I love people and care about them. Honestly, this is what I do each night. I look at myself eye to eye in a mirror and ask myself...did I honor God in all I did, said or thought today? If I fell short in any way, which I always do, those are the things I confess on my knees to God before I go to bed. Each morning I pray that I reflect Christ in me in all I do, say and think. Your article was very timely for me, as there is lots of that kinda stuff going on in my life right now. It kinda reminded me not to become bogged down in worldly thinking, but to keep my mind and heart focused on being Christ-minded! Thank you!!
Great article, I can relate. God bless!!!
Great article, I can relate. God bless:)
Rick, my Mama taught me and my siblings a valuable lesson when we were growing up, and I tried to teach it to my daughter, and now I'm teaching it to my grand-Angels, and that is this: "Pretty is as pretty does." Simple, but powerful. I've always tried to live by that, even though I'm a big ol' 6'3" boy. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, I reckon. Thanks for the honest and open heart. God will honor you for it. Stand anointed, my friend.
Amen! Some people are placed in our lives just to bring us closer to God and to rely on Him. We all need to come to a time in our own life when we realize that we can't be accepted by everyone that we just need to be ourselves and pray for those who have made the decision to not like us thru no fault of our own. Continue to serve God and He will bless your life.
Rick, this is a great column. I've also had my share of two-faced people. Your reaction to them speaks very well of your character.
Sometimes it's really hard NOT to fall in with the bitter people..those that just think life has done them wrong. But I'm a very strong believer in the power of positive thinking and God helps me with that a great deal...when I feel I can't do the things I need to do...or even want to do...God assures me that I can.
I CAN TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. BACKSTABBING IS VERY HURTFUL AND I MYSELF HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH SOME BAD SITUATIONS LATELY. YOUR COLUMN IS VERY AWESOME AND I APPRECIATE YOU TAKING THE TIME TO WRITE SUCH A WONDERFUL THING. IT IS ALL THE TRUTH. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
great article and it really makes you think about your actions....we all have to learn to bite our tongue before we speak and hurt someone's feelings. we are not supposed to be back biters...god tells us that in the bible...i really enjoyed this article..
Rick, you have touched my heart! This is a great article! You are doing the right thing, turning to the "One" who cares for you the most and yes, "He" holds tomorrow!! Bless your heart!!
Well we will always have valleys and people who say they are christians but really are not and don't act like it. We all need to stand together and respect each other. May God continue to bless you.
yeah i agree thqat is such a wonderful article and yeah i no ehat u mean how u just dont like two faced people i was just in foster care and i have expiernced a lot of that recently thanks that article helped a lot god Bless -shawn- p.s. right back o n my space plz and thank u
rick you are truely the man....
Thanks for sharing this. I can really relate to this. It was a very inspriational message. God is so amazing to send this my way when I needed it the most! Thank-you!
Thumps up, Mr. Hendricks! I couldn't have said it better myself. The older I get, the more I understand that I cannot help what others say or do. Thank God I am not on the "battlefront" like you. I just catch a few stray bullets now and then! God bless.
wanda (Jesus keeps me singing)
Well put! I'm in a similar situation right now and it's hard, when dealing with your family. Your words have been an encouragement to me.
That's really cutting to the quick, but so true. You have laid open your heart and shown us something that is true to everyone and only by the grace of God, we are those two-faced people. The scripture warns of being "double-minded". If we are, we are unstable in ALL our ways. Thanks Rick. That really took courage to write.
What a wonderful article. I'm glad you wrote it. It was a great help to me! Thanks!! I pray the Lord will bless you greatly!
hey rick, that was a really inspiring story. it made me think!! im 19 so it seems like when you'r my age there are always people behind you saying stuff to bring you down. i try to blow most of it off but sometimes there are things you just cant blow off.but know reading this i just tell the lord and he just takes it all away!! thanks so much for your story!! really enjoyed it!!
I Think this is something that we all should step back and take a good long look at, from past experiances and recent experiances, this evil sperit called "jelliousey", is very cruel and very dangeriouse to some great people, we know that satin plays a big huge roll in this kind of thing, to destroy what God is trying to build, but we all know who the higher power is, and we know how the story end's.
Thanks Rick so much for sharing this with us, we find this way to offten, but of corse Satin Plays a Huge roll in this, with his evil sperit calle Jelliouse, he thribes on trying to destroy what god has built, what God has built in you satin canot destroy he can only atempt, from using loved ones to get to you and some of your so called friends, I posted a while back a little idea about what friends are, please read it sometimes, and you will know which ones are your friends.
Great article & great words of wisdom. We can't control others but we can control how we react.
God is good all the time & all the time God is good.
Elaine Harcourt
"somedays feel like I am trying to live 5 lives. Many of you know what I mean. I am one thing for my son, one thing for my ex-wife, one thing for my daughter, one thing for this friend and another for this one. When In actuality when I lay down at night or say my prayers the real me doesn't get to breathe. The one I am sometimes gets lost into the one everyone expects me to be for them."
I am amazed at how many people agree with Rick on his article. I'd just like to hear what some of the Two Faced, Back Biting, Fake Christians have to say about it.
Rick,
Great article! It was a help to me to know that other people go through the same things. Thanks, Rick.
Libby
Lib
very good... thanks for sharing!!!! that was a blessing
I appreciated your blog. This reminds me about the situation of life we find ourselves. "Breakin the chains" can be very difficult, especially when there's a "family secret" and your house gets burnt down. Presumable by the same people who you once called family....
That is very good.. There's people like that in my family.. my favorite part of this was > 'Its not what people say about you, its how you answer them back.'
Rick: Mom taught me a long time ago...it doesn't matter what people THINK about me...it's what God KNOWS about me that counts. Janice
Great post Rick!
Southern Gospel Group - “One More Time” - http://www.myspace.com/onemoretimegospel
I love all the comments.I myself found some answers in this article.
I had to read this again today. Thanks for your advice.
How true. Great article Rick. We love you and miss you and Shane very much.
Hey Rick,
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