As life gets busier and busier for us I wonder if we all need a Simon Cowell to tell us the things most wouldn't dream of saying. Over the past several years I have worked with American Idol and several of their contestants. I watch as these singers (kids) have a showdown on and off the stage. They build themselves up for a big fall. They ride a roller coaster that even the strongest celebrities need a dozen assistants to tackle. I was in Santa Monica one afternoon and overheard a life coach telling a contestant, "You need to cut them out of your life. You need to move on." I hopped in the taxi and headed back to my hotel. My feet were hurting, my mind was numb. But, I started to think, should I be trimming my life? Should I start pulling back on the stresses? Should I begin to take control of the negative things in my life? Sure why not. But, where do you start? Do I have a big open circle that isnt being managed? One that is keeping me from handling my calling? I wasn't sure. But, I do know this-
1 - God didn't put us here to struggle when there is a way.
2 - God didn't put us here to be walked all over when there is a way.
3 - God didn't put us here to be everyone else's reason or excuses for not living.
Recently I was in a rather heated discussion with a close member of my family . They continued to blame me for this and that. I simply looked them in the eye and said, "If your're going to ruin your life don't use me as an excuse to do it." Most people cant take the blame for their own mistakes. They whittle away at others trying to repair themselves. I learned a long time ago, take what's yours and fix it or deal with it later. Garbage always smells worse the next day. Just take it to the road. Dishes only get harder to clean when they are left on the table. Put them in the washer. Sometimes we all get so busy, we have to literally remind ourselves to take a breath. God doesn't expect us to live an unhealthy life. He doesn't expect us to allow others to drain us of our daily hope and joy. We all try to fix what others see. Our weight, hair, skin, clothes, cars, house etc. But, we neglect the most important part. How we really feel. We deny our own soul its needs.
I watched years ago as a manager had his artist draw three circles. In the first circle you put those you love most and the problems in life you can control. In the second you put things you have to have and do (work, boss, family, friends, car, house) and the people that supply them, whether you like them or not. In the third circle you put the things and people that bring you down (negative friends, bad job, bad habits, things people do or say about you and things wrong you cannot control. As I sat down to draw these circles on a piece of paper. I began to see my life more clearly. It looked like an Atlas. Some areas were flat and easy to deal with, others were mountainous and took some working to tackle. And then there were those areas that were dark and no one should travel. I realized my inner circle was like a bright light. I saw all the things I could control, and the things I loved. In that second ring, I saw the artists I loved to help, the friends I loved to talk with, the little problems we have to deal with daily. Then as I started to draw the third ring it got bigger than the rings around Saturn. I started seeing all these pressures of life that I couldn't change. I begin to see I am only capable of so much. I listed all the negative people I know, all the demands on me that were unrealistic. it felt like I was literally boxing them in, locking them away.
I am not suggestion you completely abandon those around you, I am just saying come to a point where you say, "this is all I am willing to do or hear." If the issue cannot be moved into the inner circle, move on. If you cant control it, leave it. If your are a busy person, a stressed out person take my advise. Slow down, map out a healthy mental plan of thinking and living. Start moving yourself away from things you cannot change. Start placing positive people in your life. Write down the negative words you use most, and exchange them for positive words. I have heard a lot of sayings over the years, and one is true- "Life is what you make it." Good or bad- it's ours. If your are in a situation you see is hopeless, someone can help you. Start looking and seeking. Wake up and go to sleep daily with God, the first and last person you answer to.
Rick Hendrix
http://www.rickhendrix.com
Author: RickBHendrix
| Author's Website: http://www.rickhendrix.com
Written: 05/01/2006
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Category: Leave No Stone Unturned
Comments: 25
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Very true- We do get caught up in our own mess sometimes.
Rick, I have heard that many people are wise beyond their years, (although no one has ever said that about me...lol) however I don't know if I have ever known someone that way, but maybe you. I appreciate that you help in many areas of our lives. It doesn't always have to do with music directly, but ALWAYS has to do with what will help us to grow spiritually. THANK YOU for sharing your wisdom with the industry. Thanks for helping us know how to seperate the good from the bad. Your friend, Johnathan (PS: Would someone tell me that I am wise beyond my years so that I can tell Ginger? lol)
Johnathan, you are wise beyond your years! How old are you anyway???
Seriously, great article Rick!
DeeAnn
TGIF Today God Is First
WOW wonderful words of wisdom. I am drawing circle
Rick,
I totally agree. I stumbled on your journal while looking for a friends website. Anyone have any news on Ronnie Booth?
In James 4:1 it says that quarrelling and fighting come from each of us having wants and needs which we don't get because we lack faith.
In a nutshell, James is saying that we all have our own agendas, and when we don't get those agendas filled, we kick and scream like babies.
Those are the people in that third circle.
Sometimes, as Christians, we need to be the ones who step back and crucify our flesh... give up our agendas... for the sake of peace. This is hard to do because while WE are being selfless, those people in the "negative circle" Rick speaks about tend NOT to reciprocate. They see our selflessness as a sign of weakness and they pounce. This is were the Lord comes in... to help us see the bigger picture when we feel like Christian doormats.
I recently had my very first heart attack due to the fact that I was 46 years old and about 80 lbs overweight. All it took was a surge of adrenaline caused by a literal shoving match with a young man who's half my age and BOOM I was in the ER. Not worth it.
All we can do for those in the third circle is to pray, pray, pray. Love them despite their selfishness and negativity. Forgive them as Jesus forgave us. And chill.
By the way, Rick, with these three circles or "rings" if you will, now you know where the term "three ring circus" came from. LOL.
Chris J. Becker
Cedar Rapids, IA
Rick,
Great article. I always enjoy your opinions.
Wonderful advice. I find in the insurance biz I seem to take on more than I can. I worry about my policy holders, their illness and coverage. great advice.Great job Rick!
BTW-
Ronnie Booth took some time off the road for a couple months after the death of his good friend Anthony Burger.
Oh thats sad. I hope he is better.
This article made me think of the old version of Cheaper by the Dozen with Myrna Loy. "Father" developed ideas to eliminate wasted time. I have found that when I keep unnecessary things pruned out of my life, stress is reduced if not removed. Only an understanding of the will of God will tell us what should be in our circles. I like the circle idea - thanks, Rick.
I agree Sally. It makes things much easier.
Great article. I hope God keeps you blessed
Booth Brothers are doing great. I spoke with them this past week.
I appreciate this article. It has helped me a lot. Thanks
Wow, since I don't have a job, don't have a boss, no friends, and my car isn't worth having, what does that say about me??????
Deon Unthank
SoGospelNews.com
My Blog
Some people are like Slinkys… Not really good for anything, but they
still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs - Author Unknown
Deon-That says your either in a gospel group or work for a radio station
OH and for the record I have done both
Spoken like a true "Old Man" LOL
Rick, this article has perfect timing for me. Sometimes it's easy to lose perspective of what is important and what is worth your energy and time. Just wanted to say, your articles are a blessing and I always look forward to reading them. Have fun in Cali!
Great advice! Even though I am a pastor, it took God a long time to convince me that I CANNOT BE ALL THINGS TO ALL PEOPLE ALL THE TIME! Once I learned that even with the best of intentions, I cannot solve everyone's peoblems. Striving to do this only caused my own problems to grow more intent. I don't feel near as stressed now as before, realizing I cannot "fix" everybody. The only person that can actually "fix" us, is us [and God of course].
Rick,
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